There’s a wonderful parable about a couple looking to move to another community.
They are walking down a country road and come upon a wise sage sitting at the gates of a village. The couple tells the sage they are looking to move and wonder if this might be a friendly village. The sage asks them about their previous village; they confide that it wasn’t a very friendly place to live. He tells them they will likely find this village isn’t very friendly either.
A different couple arrives at the gates of the same village; they ask the wise sage the same question. The sage questions them about their experience in their previous village. This couple exclaims joyfully that their village was loving and friendly. The sage suggests they will likely find this village just as loving and friendly.